Empty

I keep on walking down the same path, and yet I am still quite surprised to where it leads. I am hell bent on repeating the same scenario over and over again. I can't seem to learn the lesson, and I am lost in how to do so.

I hate the pain.

I hate feeling this way.

I wish it was just all over, so I could move on, so I don't have to suffer the uncertainty any more.

I want to be numb, I want to not feel, I want to just move, I want to be like a robot. Just to get by each day and take care of what needs to be done. I want to be empty, I want my soul to hide deep down inside me. I want to only care for my girls and nobody else, just my angels. I want to let go of my sorrow, I want no more of my pity parties. I am tired of feeling, even happiness, because happiness always leads to sorrow, and sorrow leads to pain.

I want to be numb, I know longer want to feel.