I have been with J for over a month now, we have fallen into a nice pattern. I am feeling more secure with the consistency of the relationship. I am trying to not let my over active spinning mind get the best of me, and just enjoying what I have in the present.
We saw each other Tuesday and Wednesday, and had a fantastic time.
Are dynamic tends to fall into a soft, hard...easy, intense pattern. We suit each other well, very complementary, his Dom/sadistic to my sub/masochistic. Though at times I find I can not handle as much pain with him as I did in previous relationships, and this has me baffled. I am always bordering on yellow, and even calling out red, this is unlike me. Then after all is said and done, I wish I would've taken more. But in the moment I can't seem to bear it...it could be that he likes to hit every most painful spot he can find on me, it could be that he is quite relentless, and his hand never seems to get tired. It could be that every time I get comfortable and am at the brink of escaping he brings me back, going harder and repetitive in the same spot but not long enough to make that spot numb.
Well I ask for a sadistic sadist (I know you can't get anymore sadistic than that of a sadist) and that is what I got. I am not complaining I love that he is as fierce and as unforgiving as he is, I would be more disappointed if he bent to me, and gave into my every small whimper.
I have learned not to challenge him, unless I can take the challenge. He will indeed show me, and will do with little to no mercy. He is quite cocky, I usually do not like cocky but he wears it well...just enough humbleness to get away with it.
To top it off, he is incredibly kind, caring and loving. His tenderness is just as intense as his fierceness. He adores my snaky side as much as my loving side, it is nice that I am
able to show him more depth than I have with any other in a long time.