I have been chatting with a guy for a couple of weeks now, we met up for lunch yesterday to see if there was any chemistry. I had a great time, he is super funny and incredibly sweet and kind. Easy to talk to, very little gaps in conversation. I think it is safe to say there is chemistry, so we set up a playdate for tomorrow. My lack of patience shows here quite a bit, oh well, tis me.
The Internet age is a funny little thing, people you think you would never cross paths with again can come magically into you life throw a little glitch in email.
The last man I was seeing before I met with Sir (I am thinking I may need a new name, but hell I guess Sir works, if it ain't broke why fix it) ended up getting his email hacked and sent me an odd message, with I respond to, for there was a little unfinished business. I left a very nasty last email to him, which I was not very proud of. So with that I was able to tell him that I was sorry for saying what I said, though somewhat justifiable and he apologized for his part as well. Neither of us wanted it to end badly.
I was excited, he wants to buy a painting from me. It puts a little fire in my arse to get me painting again after a too long brake. Now I do realize with this that he probably is looking to sleep with me, ok I know he is. Men have become that predictable for me. But with that said I am not going to miss an opportunity to sell a painting...and the best part is I don't have to sleep with him...being a women is good.
I have been looking back quite a bit, and I am amazed with how far I have come. I at times am angry at myself for allowing things with Sir to progress as they did, leaving me more vulnerable than I wanted to be. But I must say the experience was well worth the pain, I have noticed I communicate so much better, I am more open and honest with every man I chat with. I know more of my wants, needs and how to ask for them. I am more certain of myself than I ever have been. And I guess if I never took that chance, never allowed myself to fall I would've never learned what I know now.
I go back and forth with myself as far as this blog goes, it was not started for me, it was for him...but as time has gone by it has become more than I imagined it to be. And it definitely has become mine, for me, for anyone who comes across it and reads. Of course I hope what I say gives someone, anyone, a little insight to what I don't know. Hopefully truth, nothing sugar coated, just me some sort of mad women writing down all of her illogical, irrational, crazy thoughts. Making all feel less insane. There is no pretense, sometimes ugly but all me.
At times I have thought of just writing happy, happy, joy, joy stuff, but lets face it that is not me, and that would show; even in writing. I am the worlds worst liar. I suck at pretending happiness, or sadness I have to be me. And what better place to let it show, right here in blog land.
Ok I am done with my being grateful rant, until next time when my vibes are on high.