I am content
I can't remember the last time I have been this content, I have found security, consistently, and understanding.
It has been an odd feeling to be with someone who is as crazy about me as I am them. I have not had that since my girl’s father. I do hope I do not freak out again, I hope that I can keep my head up and to accept this, to go and ride the wave safely to the shore.
Now that the girls are back in school J and I are able to see each other more often, but the down side to that is we don't get to spend as much time together. It is hard to do darker scene in just a couple of hours or so, so the intensity of our play has been down. I don't mind for now, doing it this way is giving us more time to get to get to know each other in a new way. Building a better understanding of which the other is like outside of the bedroom.
My submissive side is happy and balanced, I feel free when I am with J. I don't feel bottled up, I don't feel afraid of saying something wrong or stupid, and I am not afraid of doing something wrong. He is as easy going, as I am. He is as content as I am to just lie in each other’s arms and cuddle, talk, and laugh. He loves my feisty side as much as he loves my soft and submissive side.
I have found my happy medium.
I am content.