October 23, 2013

Pushing Down The Woman Inside.


I hate feeling needy, but I need to be needy
I hate to be controlled, but I need to be controlled
I need to answer to someone else, and I hate admitting that
it makes my tummy turn inside.

I want to give, I want to be needed and wanted
I need to give
I need to give of myself to someone else
I don't know why

I want to feel small, if just for a moment
I want to feel humility
I am tired of my cocky pride
I am tired of always needing to be right

I don't want to be submissive
I don't want to be the pleaser
the needing to make everyone happy
but I am just that.

I need to be submissive
I need to please
I need to make everyone happy
but society says that makes one weak

I hate feeling that I must be what I am not
I hope one day I can accept what I am
I hope one day I can be who I am
I hope one day I can find one to accept me for me.

I am tired of pretending I am something that I am not
I want to be me, I want to be free
I need to be me
I want to accept and love the fact that I am a submissive woman



2 comments:

  1. Beautiful piece of writing! I can totally relate I just can't put it as eloquently as you did. Ah, the life of a submissive bitch is not an easy one, is it?

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the compliment :) And no it is not, it is an everyday struggle trying to tone down two opposing personalities.

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