Kind of Lost

I don't seem to know what to write here anymore.

I think I have said all I could say.

It seems late at night, I awake and I think of all the stuff I do have to say, but when dawn breaks I know longer remember the struggles of  the night.

All I have in me is a ramble, a jumbled thoughts

There is still so much to learn, but today I feel I know it all. Yet night will come and remind me that I know nothing at all.

D/s, s/m...I am caught between wanting, and not wanting. I do not know who I am anymore. I thought I did, but lately I have been feeling unsure.

I may need time for reflection. Better yet, I need time for reflection. No need for "may".

 I have been going back and forth with how much control I want to give to another, I do think I know what I want but it is something that is not being offered to me at this time. Then I think maybe I don't want that, maybe I just want to be left to just me...as always it seems to be.

Maybe when tomorrow comes I will know better of what I want, but that is highly unlikely. Knowing me, I will just complicate all that is in my mind even more.