October 24, 2013

Just Need A Space to Sort Out My Thoughts.

I don't know where to go, I don't know who to turn to, I am without reason. I try to be supportive, I try to show I care by letting him be, giving him space, but I feel as if I am being held by a very thin string. keep me hangin on. And once his thoughts are clear, and he can take a deep breath and see some light at the end of the tunnel, I will be cut free with ease.

I am being pushed away, and I don't understand what is going on, I am out of the loop, a dog put out in the rain, trying to peer in to see what is going on but the curtains are closed.

What do I do?

He is so vague with me, telling me he will tell me soon, but I don't know how soon is soon. He says next email but the next email is a simple saying, no form to give me any understanding.

I am confused, I am going up and down with should I ask him, or should I wait till he is ready, and feels more comfortable telling me?

Why do I feel so insignificant, as if I am just meaningless? Just pinch in time, a moment wasted, here yet not here at all.

I hate feeling this way, I am so torn as to what to do.

I truly do not want to push him, I don't want to bother him when there is so much going on in his life. I want to be supportive but how can I be supportive when I do not even know what is going on? And is it that he does not trust to tell me? Or is it simply that I am overthinking it, putting too much thought into the simple fact that he just needs space, and time to get it all together?

Should I stay silent as I have or should I inquirer, should I pry?

Feel better now, thank you blog for listening to my non sense once again.

Now the decision to make a pot of coffee and stay up till kids have to go to school or try to salvage a few hours of sleep. What to do, what to do.....

Tis safe to say I am truly an overthinker.

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