January 23, 2013

My Take On Sadism


I have been wanting to write a post on sadism for some time, and no time like the present to do it.

I feel  a sadist has it harder then a masochistic does, it is look down upon society even more so then that of a masochist   

I feel often when someone hear sadism, they think of horrific humans that commit horrific crimes ageist humanity... and there are such people but to lump it all in one category is bias.

Here is my brake down.

You have your sociopath sadist, who lacks any empathy... who does things for the pure pleasure that he/she seeks for self.

You have sadist that have other mental issues, or low self esteem, they are capable of empathy but lack any self control

Then there are the sadist who are well rounded, they are capable of self control, and are empathetic.

The latter of the three seek the companionship of a willing partner, the latter of the three are capable of compassion and care.

I have heard of true Sadism, I guess it is that compassion and sadism do not go hand in hand... I do not get that way of thinking. I feel as with in life there are varying degrees in how things can be defined. The definition in its self could be seen as vague, but in my opinion it is pretty straight forward.

  1. The tendency to derive pleasure, esp. sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others.
  2. (in general use) Deliberate cruelty.

Now nothing is spoken of lack of compassion, or empathy.

It bugs me so much because I feel as I read other blogs that a lot of times sadist seem to be to hard on themselves. Compassion can go along with sadistic desires; you can care for the one you hurt as long as you have the consent there is nothing wrong at all with fulfilling the need inside. 

Also as a masochistic I need to know that the sadist cares, it makes it all the more magical....all the more passionate and meaningful.   

Now I need to feel that way about being a masochist lol


  1. Sadism fascinates me, i think i want to understand why he wants to hurt me, what does he get from it? but i suppose its no different from me wanting to understand my masochism, what makes us want these things.

    My Master came to terms with his sadism years ago, he enjoys hurting me and he has said that at the time he doesnt have compassion or empathy, he likes it when im begging desperatley...power kick perhaps?

    I think he identifies as a sexual sadist, it turns him on but he only gets desire out of it because he knows i want and enjoy it, he would take no pleasure from hurting someone that genuinley didnt enjoy it on any level...and i think this is what separates sadists that engage in bdsm in a controlled environment to the ones that have no control over it.


  2. Interesting on the lack of compassion or empathy, though I could see how the begging and desperation could heighten the experience for him...I think that is an other element to the dynamic, one that I find fascinating, and arousing.

    I also wonder if that is what some sadist that are still coming to terms with it feel, is it that they do lose their lack of compassion, their lack of empathy while engaging in the activity?

    I try to see it through the sadist eyes, I can see the thrill, the thrill of control, of the power...and for me that is the best part... the look in ones eyes, as they take what they want.

    You always get me thinking Tori, now I have a new thought to ponder.

    Thank you once again for your feed back, it is most helpful in my quest for understanding.