February 11, 2013

When One Becomes Two and A Pity party Brews.

I seem to be growing far away from this, far away from what is to be submissive. I lost my footing and don't know how to get it back into place.

I am far away from myself and needing to regain some sort of balance in my life... I need to be master and slave...mother and father, I need to dominate  and submits, and  at times playing the  two rolls can be daunting, can be overwhelming and incredibly trying.

I am two people all stuffed in one body, each trying to get out, trying to figure how to do this, how to make this work.

If I could split myself into two, then just maybe I could make a balance but that is physically impossible. So I am searching for another way to go about it, and well that is not so easy...I feel it should, and I try... but I seem to fail and get caught up in being the perfect two when I am only one.

I feel myself becoming bitter, and quite frankly pissy at the world for no good reason, other then the fact that I can.

I make excuses, get frustrated at myself, then I shut down...and well, that is never good. But at least I feel it coming on and maybe can get a hold of it before it gets a hold of me.

OK... I think I am done with this pity party I have thrown for myself...

Master says "get working girl."

"Yes Sir!"

Must obey....

Oh hell, I might be going crazy, I am answering back to ones self.

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