February 19, 2013

Needing, Why do I Need This So Much?

My hunger to give myself to a Dominate is becoming insatiable, my needing insatiable...and not having someone to submit to is frustrating byond belief. My hunger is undeniable but feels as if it will never be fed. I am thirsting for firm control, to give my life that balance... I feel so out of balance, so lost needing... wanting..

I don't know how to go about this, I have done it before, but now that I got a better taste of it I crave it even more, I know how it brings me peace; I need to have that peace in my life.

I need to feel a rough hand across my face, over my body; I need to go down on my knees and look up with pleading eyes, eyes bagging to be used. I need to give of myself...need to give to, need to be his and his alone. I miss the feeling of pleasing, the wholeness I feel when one smiles at me, the feeling of happiness when one is proud of how well I did, to amuse, to satisfy ones hunger...someone to appreciate what a good girl I could be for them, how much I can give. I am byond want, I need and it does not feel so good, not to be-able to be the submissive I am.

A million questions have come about after the ending with Sir, me asking what/who I am, who I am truly? If I am truly submissive? I realize now that I needed to justify not having that component, I needed to justify so I could but aside my needing, my wanting.

I am lost and I need control... but I can not find my own control any more...she is growing tired and wary, she is needing, and willing. Not just the sexual aspect but the whole, the making a good strong Dominate happy by appeasing his needs and wants, I want and need to give.

This submissive no longer questions who and what she is...she is not losing her way...she just needs to give to feel whole once again.

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