A blog about coming to terms with submission, finding my way, finding acceptance... a bit of rambling, a tad of erotica, lots of rants.
March 5, 2013
I Will Probably Piss People Off With This Post.
I was thinking of writing a post on slavery for a while, just because I have heard horror story's runny about the web. So called "doms" saying if I own you I can do anything as I please. Women abandoning their children, or worse. Working their ass off just to give it to a selfish abusing so called "dom". Prostituting for their so called "dom"...their "dom "taking away their self worth. Throwing them on the floor out of know where and choking them and when the slave acts as we all would act if one were being choked out of nowhere, we all would flee or fight it is a nature human reaction. And the so called "dom" says, you are no slave you don't trust me, and or you won't do what ever I ask for because you belong to me, so there for your life is mine.
Mind you before anyone starts to yell at me, I do realize that a true "Dom" would not do any of said above, a true "Dom" would respects his slaves hard limits, a good "Dom" would not put his slave in a position where she would feel she had to flee. I do understand that, I do...but the young women coming out don't, all they here is slave, and how much better a slave is then a sub. So then a predator sees that young doe like being...and traps her in his web...and takes her where no other sub has gone before. That makes me sad, and brings tears to my eyes. No human being should ever, ever feel that way...just to be called a slave.
I am not putting down all the healthy slave/Master relationships out there, many of the blogs I read do adhere to the Master/slave relationship...many of the women are in marriages and have started off with a good foundation. Many have educated themselves in what it is, and have talked to their Master thoroughly and their Masters respects them, and love them with out condition, that I do understand and say more power to you. And happy that one can find such an intense loving relationship.
I just don't like the glorification of the word, I don't like the fact that to be a slave makes you better...not for any other reason then for the young naive women that come into this life style blindly, and end up living a life of misery and hell.
When I was with Sir, he did mention heading down that path and it did excite me. But I did get lost in the thoughts of the "what ifs"...there are things that are mine and mine alone...kids mine, mine, mine. House mine, mine, mine. My financial means, mine, mine, mine...my pets which I would never get rid of for anyone...mine mine mine.... my soul, my being, my essence, mineminemine... sounding a bit selfish here, I suppose I am.
Now giving of myself...I would love, taking care of, making Dom happy, I would love, being there, I would love...giving my body for him to use, it is his. But the rest is mine.
I would make a lousy slave...but I am an excellent sub, I think
And maybe my mind will change, maybe I misunderstood the word or the word is abused by the abusers and that scares me...because I am the type that takes things literally.
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Hey, I'm totally with you on this one. There are things that are MINE MINE MINE and those things i will never give away.
ReplyDeleteperhaps with the right person, who has also given me all of himself, things might change, but i understand your point of view entirely. THat the little girls who are coming out and thinking i must be a slave to be the best in sub-ness all need to wake up and see that there is a difference between being a slave in a healthy M/s relationship and being abused.
I just remarked the other day that one of the best things about being in the kind of relationship i'm in with BIKSS is I can buy as many pairs of shoes as I darn well please. Cos that's one of the things in the MINE MINE MINE category - Money and what I do with it.
*hugs* thanks for writing this.
I agree Fondles, maybe the right person.. maybe after the kids are out of the house and my defenses are down but as of now I don't know.
DeleteYes that was my point and I am hoping that is the way it is seen.
I have been on my own for so long, I know no different...maybe that is what it is to...overly independent and not knowing how to give complete control for I have had for so long.
Thank you for reading it *hugs* back to you
I did not mean for my post to invoke any anger. It was simply just me thinking out loud.
ReplyDeleteI think I have misunderstood the word myself. I do agree that there are ton of predators out there that use the title "Dom, Master" or whatever as a way to justify being abusive.
Oh no Yearning, your post did not do that at all...it just reminded me that I wanted to post on this subject, I have been wanting to for a while.
DeleteI am not angry per say...just hate to think that there are young women out there that do not truly understand the whole thing.I am a humanest and tend to be overly passionate when it comes to humanity and human rights...those are things that tend to make me overly out spoken and often misunderstood.
Anna May: What you do describe is abuse, not a good M/s dynamic.
ReplyDeleteI am with you on the glorification of the word. We don't term our roles as "slave" and "M" because of their actual meanings.
I think for a good and solid relationship it involves some compromising: On what you love, I will love. And I love you because you love it, even if I don't. As husband and wife, I think there is a lot of give and take with those things: houses and fiances and pets all merge.
It certainly irks me that there are young women who are incredibly misguided or ill-educated who are entering arrangements without solid knowledge.
I do understand that, I really do and I hear the stores of so many good M/s relationships...I see how the bond can be intense, and also see there is love and respect.
DeleteIt is the glorification, it is the abuser out there, it is the naive that I worry about.
I do not mean any disrespect to the ones who live a M/s life style.. I believe each to there own.I just hate to know there are women out there who are mislead by the misuse of one little word.
Well you didn't piss me off so it's all good. I think the only one's who will be pissed are the abusive bastards who hide behind the terms Master and slave to justify their behavior. While I'm no expert, I believe there is a big difference between an abusive relationship and a M/s dynamic.
ReplyDeleteI know Mrs. D, just hate when abuser misuse a word...I wish there were a way to educated girls, but i guess no matter how hard you try some will fall victim to the wicked. It brake's my hart.
DeleteI dont see why anyone would be pissed off what you have spoken is the truth.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunatly there are 'doms' and i use that term lightly who take advantage of the newbies, and its so easy when you take a genuinely submissive girl that has a desire to please and therefore is easily manipulated.
The reality of M/s is its not for everyone not because its a superior form of ttwd but because we simply are not all the same, a slave is no better than a submissive its just different.
I do think there is too much of a hang up on the association of being called a slave with the historical sense of what the word represents, M/s is based on consent, the willingness to want and need to be enslaved, there is no force...not in a healthy M/s dynamic.
Its not easy but i think too many get caught up in the fantasy and then realise the reality doesnt match up.
x
Thank you Tori...I hate walking the fine line, but you are right if it is truth speak.
DeleteThat is also something I love that you talk about, I hope women do adhere to that advice. Often some get involved in the fantasy and do not realize the reality...I guess in that way it is good I am an over thinker and look at the whole picture. But not all do.